The first time I went to Disneyland, I didn’t know what to expect. I knew that I could never truly know for sure what I’d be experiencing until I was really there, but that was no excuse not to prepare. I looked at photos, checked the map, read about all the attractions, and so on. That turned out to be a good decision because I ended up making the most out of the experience.
It’s no different with marriage. We never know for sure what to expect until we’re actually in it, but that doesn’t mean we can’t prepare for it. In fact, the best time to prepare for marriage is when we’re single. Unless we start preparing as early as now, there’s a really big chance we won’t get things right when we’re already in it.
If there are things we should be most prepared for, they’re the blind spots. Here are five marriage blind spots that people need to get ready for as early as singlehood.
1. It’s So Easy to Transition From Spouse to Roommate
I have found that it is not hard to destroy a marriage. All you have to do is to be unintentional about things. When we refuse to be intentional and deliberate in communicating with our spouse, dating them and serving them, you will find it really easy to transition from being a couple to just being roommates.
2. Marriage Will Not Satisfy You
Marriage is not primarily about our satisfaction. It is first and foremost for God’s pleasure and satisfaction. When we seek to honour God and worship Him with our marriage, He will be the one to bring satisfaction to us.
3. Arguments Can Be Good If Done Right
Single men and women might sometimes believe the misconception that couples who fight aren’t happy and that couples who don’t have a good marriage. Arguments, if done right, can be beneficial to a marriage. On the other hand, suppressing conflict can be dangerous.
4. Reciprocity Is Not Always Expected
Before coming into marriage, I was always looking for reciprocity. Everything had to be fair and just. But the problem about people asking for reciprocity is that we tend to be completely biased about it. If you ask for something expecting something in return, it will often operate under an understanding that might not always be shared with your spouse to be.
5. The Toilet Seat Will Not Always Be Lifted
As early as now, bachelors must understand that the person that they will marry will be nothing like their dream boy or dream girl. He’s going to forget to lift the toilet seat. She’s going to have terrible breath in the morning. Don’t fall in love with your concept of your spouse-to-be. Fall in love first with Christ and experience an outflow of His love so that you can learn slowly to unconditionally love others as Christ has unconditionally loved us.